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Willa's Birth Story

Sunday, October 16, 2016

I figured I should hurry and get this down before I forget anything! I can not believe it has been a whole month since she has entered into our lives! I love this little girl so much and can't get enough of her. I truly love being a mom. I love everything about it.

My pregnancy with this girl was honestly a breeze. I shouldn't complain much, I had more complications at the beginning and obviously I would say pregnancy isn't fun. I don't love it, I still was uncomfortable and was SO tired. I definitely had all the normal not so fun pregnancy symptoms but I was pretty lucky in the fact that I didn't have any major complications or had to be on bed rest. My heart goes out to those women! The end of my pregnancy compared to Bridger's was wayy better. I felt really good at the end, I definitely had some discomfort but was really surprised at the difference between the 2 pregnancies! I had Bridger at 39wks, I was assuming I would go early again this pregnancy but also knew there was no guarantee. Also, my body flies through labor so I get so much anxiety towards the end when I start to feel labor is near because I could truly have a baby in the car haha! So at my38wk appointment (i think) and I got checked and was like a 1.5 and I was disappointed! I started feeling like I wasn't going to have this baby as early as I thought! Another thing was Rj had a med school interview on my due date. Now it sounds ridiculous but I really didn't think I was going to make it to my due date, and then as time went on I started to stress like crazy!! I didn't want to have a baby with out him there. Even though I wanted to have this baby before my due date so Rj could be there I didn't want to exhaust myself by trying to get my body to go into active labor. I just told myself that my body knew when it was ready and that it would happen when I was ready. When another week went by, I did try a few thing like eating dates and other stuff like that and I do think that helped!

Something my body that is kind of weird is I have the longest early labor. It seriously stinks, I was at a 4.5 for almost a week!! People, thats crazy,  (in my opinion) I was getting really nervous because I had Bridger like an hour and half after I got to the hospital. My doctor was telling me usually your labors are faster and easier after your first so I was thinking, well if it's any faster and I can't get to the hospital right away, I may just have this baby at home! haha! On Labor day I had some false labor, I had some really really strong contractions and we were ready to go to the hospital but then they slowed down. Such a disappointment! I was at a 4-4.5 that day and didn't budge for 4 days! At 4am on the 9th of September I woke up feeling really crampy and started having some contractions. Nothing crazy, pretty much what I had been feeling the past 2 weeks. After about 30minutes I think I started to time them and started walking around my house. They were 4 minutes apart and I was uncomfortable to where I couldn't just lay in bed and try to sleep (which I knew was a good sign but also didn't want to get my hopes up) so I walked around and just told myself after an hour if they are still like this that's good and maybe this is the real deal. After about an hour and half they were still happening and I started to have some bloody show (TMI) that always scares me when I'm pregnant but in labor its good because that means your cervix is actively dilating! So I knew that was a good sign and at this point I had texted my mom letting her know it could be time! By 7am Rj woke up and my contractions were getting stronger so I told him not to go into work until my contractions went away (if they were going to). By 8 we had Rj's mom come over to watch Bridger and figured we would go to the hospital to be monitored because my contractions were consistent every 4 minutes since 4am. The 4 minutes apart kinda threw me off because usually in active labor they are every 2-3 but this labor they were every 4 minutes on the dot till I had to push. That was interesting I thought. Anyways I think by 8:30-9 we were in triage getting checked in and being monitored. This whole time I was having major anxiety because I did NOT want to get sent home. I get the worst anxiety about that. I wish more than anything we could know and plan for an exact day we are going to have our babies! I guess thats the nice thing about scheduled C-sections haha. So when we got to the hospital I was a 4.5 and like 80% effaced. Which was progress so I was excited about that. I was getting nervous because honestly my contractions weren't super intense and I was so nervous they were going to stop. My mom eventually arrived and after about 1hr or an hour and a half they checked me and I was at a 5 so they admitted me. I can not tell you the relief!!!! happiest moment! At this time it was about 10:30am Right before they had checked me the last few contractions definitely started to get harder and I really was having to focus more on breathing and relaxing. Thank goodness for Rj and my mom. I could not do labor and birth with out them. They are truly the best Birth coaches.

At this point I was so tired. The exhaustion was hitting me, from being up since 4am and you are so exhausted already being that pregnant I started to loose hope that I was going to have the strength to do this! I had Bridger naturally due to the fact that I went so fast. I was really proud of myself though because I didn't think I could do it and the fact that I did I figured I should try again! I was not opposed at all to an epidural and told myself at anytime I feel like I want one, I will get one! By the time I was admitted the contractions were getting so much stronger and they said my water bag was about to break any minute. This scared me, haha last time my water broke, things got crazy. Labor gets way more intense! The hardest thing for me when I work through my contractions is to relax all my muscles, I could just feel my back tightening up so much I knew I needed to get in the tub for me body to relax enough to get me ready for pushing! yikes! I was begging the nurse to let me in the Tub, THANK GOODNESS Mercy Giblert lets you labor in the tub. It is truly amazing for those mama's who go natural!! They finally let me in the tub and as my contractions got stronger and my energy was dropping I started to have a mini panic attack haha! I was just so exhausted and I felt like I was having PTSD from my last labor haha! (he was posterior fyi...and natural...pain!!) anyways, I pretty much decided at that point I wanted an epidural hah. My Midwife arrived, they made me get out of the tub to check me. I wasn't very happy about that. I was in the tub for about 15minutes and when they checked me I went from a 5 to an 8. My midwife told me I could wait and try to get an epidural or she could pop my bag and I could have a baby. The other thing was that I was positive for group B and didn't have enough anti-biotics so if she popped my bag I would have to stay an extra day in the hospital. At this point my contractions were so strong I just wanted to have the baby! So she popped my bag at 11:35, after that the game really started! I swear, so after that it kinda becomes a blur. The adrenalin kicks in for sure. Obviously the contractions were so strong at this point. I was in full Birthing mode(is that weird to say) anyways, If you've ever gone natural it is truly amazing to feel your body going through all the steps and stages of labor and birth. It's honestly hard for me to write some of this or to find the words to describe this process. It is so beautiful, for some it might be a little graphic or "tmi" so if you feel like it is you can stop reading because I'm just going to be really open and honest about this part. It is amazing that your body knows when to start pushing and it will almost start pushing naturally and then you really feel this huge urge to push! Those first few pushes feel so good and relieving (I know that sounds weird)  they take the pain away for a brief moment and then they get a little crazy, I think I had like 1 or 2 "early pushes" and then I pretty much had 3 "Real" pushes and she was out. It was incredible. I started out on my back like the normal "birthing position" I guess you could say. I was super uncomfortable and I'm glad my midwife noticed because she asked me if I wanted to try hands and knees and I was so excited. Any of you preggo mama's, this position is amazing! When you get bigger and you have all that pressure on you body and back , seriously just get on your hand and knee's it sounds silly but you will be so happy. It's the best. Or even just lean over on your knees on the couch or a counter top. It feels so good and takes all that pressure off.
 Anyways, so I got on my knee's and leaned over the top of the bed, this already felt so much better. My body pretty much took over and this baby was coming out! I was screaming at this point haha I don't know why that is seriously a natural thing when the contractions come and I have to push, not sure why! I really tried not to and I couldn't keep it in haha! (funny story about that later) So I'm not sure if this was in the plans but I pretty much just did 3-4 real pushes and she was out! The contractions for those pushes were really hard to compose myself for, my mama really had to coach me through, she was great at reminding me to stay calm and breath through them.
Willa Rose was born at 12:08 September 9th, weighing 7lbs even and 19in. The day before my due date. It was absolutely amazing. I couldn't believe it, even through all the pain, how incredible it was to feel everything. From when they said "her head is out!" to having her in my arms. As weird as all of this may sound and you might be thinking "that was too much info girl". I can not put into words what beautiful, perfect moment it is. Through all the pain and craziness of birth, the emotion I will never be able to put into words. That moment of just going through the worst pain you'll ever go through, the exhaustion, the stress, and then to holding that little baby skin to skin and working so hard to get her here, I can not tell you. The amount of love and happiness that flows through your body and your heart is indescribable.  It is truly one of the most spiritual and beautiful things I have ever felt in my life. I am so grateful to have the ability to carry and have babies. I am truly grateful to be a mom and to raise these sweet little spirits. I truly feel so blessed. I feel so blessed that Heavenly Father has entrusted in me these sweet little babies. I am forever grateful for them and these experiences.

Ok so I just wanted to say one last thing. I wanted to share some of my photos from my labor and birth but I just need to give a little heads up.  I feel like my photos really give you an idea of a natural labor vs someone with an epidural haha. I am crying and have no make up on. I'm exhausted and you can see it! Honestly, these pictures are very raw. I would say I'm very vulnerable in them and I really hesitated to share this with the world but I am confident in myself and decided I wanted to share this moment. I see these pictures flowing through social media of girls in full make up and hair and these beautiful birth videos of girls looking like they just left the salon and Mac store. Now, if you can do that, you go girlfriend! You are a rockstar. I simply just wanted to say its honestly not super realistic. I do not want to put anyone down or make anyone feel bad if that is their goal or if thats something you care about. I just have spoken to so many girls who haven't had babies or women who have who feel like they are less than because they didn't look like miss America in their hospital pictures. Which I think is so silly because in that moment you should not think or feel that way! I would hate to portray or give anyone, especially women, my friends, an unrealistic goal or picture of labor and birth.  It is hard, it isn't pretty and it's a lot of work. For me I go to the hospital ready to birth a baby. Im not there to think about how I look or  taking pictures for my social media pages. If that is your goal than thats great. It wasn't mine so I just want to make you aware before you see these haha.  Like I said, these pictures are very raw and probably give a good idea of what natural labor is like if you haven't been through it! haha!
















4 comments:

  1. Call me weird, but I love reading birth stories! I remembered you saying on facebook that you posted Willa's so I thought I would come take a look. Thank you or sharing, she is oh so beautiful and I love how honest and open you are about everything. Also your pictures are beautiful, you are beautiful. They made me cry a little bit, gosh I need to have another baby. Congratulations (: So happy for you guys!

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    1. Oh your so sweet haha! thank you so much. I was a little nervous to post it but I'm glad I did! I didn't really advertise when I finally posted this. I can't look at them and not cry. I use to not be that person! having babies has change me! You should ;) babies are hard but they are so fun and worth it! Your boy is so cute and getting so big!!

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  2. I know it can be scary to post raw pictures of yourself but I honestly think those are the most beautiful pictures I've ever seen of you (which is saying something considering you're always drop dead gorgeous!)

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